Saturday, December 22, 2007
My life has just been boring, plain boring. Slowly, I'm being eaten up. I miss those carefree days. Now everything in my mind now is just negative stuffs.
Lately, I have become really negative, about everything, especially towards myself. Whenever things happen, I just feel so dumb and useless about myself.
I am at a point where I'm so close to breaking down, so close. At a point where all my beliefs are gone. At a point where I feel that, God Almighty have forsaken me. Where I don't feel so close to God anymore. I feel so distant from God. Maybe it's my problem that I can't hang out with people. That 'I don't bring joy where ever I go.' That 'I always show the whole world that I'm unhappy about things that are happening.' and that 'only a 3-year-old kid will put on a face to tell the whole world that he is unhappy.' Maybe I am a 3-year-old kid, maybe I really don't bring joy where ever I go but despair and sorrow and maybe I really want the whole world to know that I'm unhappy by showing faces. Who really cares about me anyway, yes 'everyone got their own
fair shares of problem' and yes, my problem is
always mediocre, as compared to others. Other people
always seems to have a much greater problem. I'm mediocre and I know it. I have always been mediocre. Have always knew about it. Who am I anyway, 'to go around showing faces to everyone i see.' ya, I'm nobody to show that 'contorted and disgusted face.
It's my problem I guess. MY bad.
陈伟译上。
4:44 PM